


I love Him

by dirutentacles



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Drama, Feelings, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Relationship(s), Sad, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirutentacles/pseuds/dirutentacles
Summary: In a world where Kyungsoo loves Chanyeol just as much as Baekhyun, but can't have Chanyeol's love.
Kudos: 4





	I love Him

Baekhyun never loved someone this hard nor felt this ardent passion for anyone else. Chanyeol was the first and the only to ever make him feel this way. It was a very deep feeling that could cut his skin and pass through his body inside and out, causing pain on him. Baekhyun's skin was full of blood, the blood of his own, and blood of everyone who ever attempted to love him. Baekhyun couldn't love anyone back; not because he felt anything for others, but because he couldn't hurt anyone directly; it wasn't like him, he was a very kind boy with good intentions, but selfish and stupid.

Baekhyun is just like me, a boy full of weakness who lives in a world of his own. Baekhyun's world was composed only of Chanyeol, his loved one; he would protect this world with his life and die for it if it was needed to protect his world, but he would never do it for himself. _"I don't deserve it; I'm a disgrace for everyone, a burden for everyone... Dying would be a better choice"_ , he used to say to himself and others who asked him about his heart; not that he had one. He only had his mind, creating images of Chanyeol, the person who kept him alive for a long time.

He could also travel through time and age. He had skills and knew how to play love games; he got some talent in him, some charming skills, and light in his eyes, but now? He only had a void within him. And every day he tried to destroy it, this void but he can't. His world is still alive. He got to live and see the accomplishments of his world because he still loves him. And he loves him so much he can't help but keep looking after him. To lose his loved one - the only true love he ever had in his whole life -, would be just like losing his own life.

He is always going back and forth, trying to remember his feelings, trying to remember the taste of his favorite good night kiss and the smell of his favorite hug. He is always going back and forth, he couldn't forget a love like this - it would be outrageous to do so; because, if he can't forget his loved one and his feelings, then, who am I to even think about forgetting it? I am just like him, there is no reason to be alive if it's not close to him, if Chanyeol isn't here, sharing the same world and air I breathe. Oh, how could I have a life without him? My loved one, my soulmate, and the only one that could be my lover for the rest of my life? I would lose my breath; I would lose my fierceness and my body, oh, it would burn and burn forever until I couldn't take the pain anymore. I would perish. Alone, with no soul that could ever save my heart.

I would perish.

I love him, oh, God knows how much I love him.


End file.
